Book - Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse
Book - Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse
SKU:K065JA
Dimensions: 9 in x 11 in
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Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse
Joyce Allan
This groundbreaking book investigates the beliefs and values which underlie silence-keeping about child sexual abuse not only by survivors, but also by their friends, family and community. This compelling memoir, rich in visual warmth, and informed by the expertise of a child activist, describes how silence creates the "ecology of child sexual abuse." Ultimately Because I Love You is for everyone who knows and cares about a survivor or perpetrator, and everyone who is concerned about the emotional, physical and spiritual safety of our children.
The book details how the author's life was nearly derailed by incestuous abuse by her father at an early age, (and) documents her personal struggle to find understanding and expertise in helping her overcome her complicated and extensive post-traumatic and dissociative reactions. With enormous determination, Allan conducts a detailed examination of her father's life and learns of his extensive history of pedophilia and its possible origins and motivations. And, finally, she examines the silence that so often accompanies abuse that is perpetrated by a family member, friend, or acquaintance, a silence often based on denial and loyalty that inadvertently allows abuse to continue undeterred. This is a compelling look at the inter-generational dynamics of sexual abuse and its tragic consequences, and the need for improved and more effective intervention. It is also a testament to human resilience and renewal.
Softcover, 9x11, 320 pp., 2002.
It was interesting to have it written by someone who was both an incest survivor and a psychotherapist. It was illuminating to have her track down the many other victims of her father as well as the generational dynamic. She conveys society's changing reactions to incest and other sexual abuse, i.e., she helps move us away from ignoring and/or covering-up to responses that better serve the victims and facilitate open discussions about the topic. More needs to be done in these areas.
For incest survivors who have struggled to reconcile their suffering and rage towards their father, or other familial perpetrator, with their love for the same person, the author provides an example of how the two aspects can be reconciled or simply honored. However, it still left me a bit confused about how one might approach this challenge in a healthy way. Near the end of the book, it seemed as though she were giving too much love to her father, from my perspective as someone who is not a survivor of incest and was trained as a school psychologist. I do not claim to have the "right" viewpoint and certainly respect the author's vantage point as a survivor.
The internet links are outdated and not in operation.
The author beautifully conveys a better way to love oneself and others than what her father enacted.